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After parents get divorced, the relationship they have with their kids can become strained, which often causes the children to withdraw or act in ways they normally would not. If you have just divorced or you are planning to get divorced, it’s important to be aware that your separation will be harder for your kids than it is for you. To help keep a strong relationship with your kids after divorce, you need to make an extra effort to accommodate the feelings they are experiencing. If you don’t try help your children work through their feelings, they can end up having emotional outbursts or might start acting out in unusual ways. In this blog, we give you some helpful tips so that you can maintain a good relationship with your kids after your divorce is final.
Some Issues Should Be Kept Private
Children have to deal with all sorts of changes as their parents get adjusted to their new lives, and these changes often cause new conflicts. From moving to a new home to sorting out visitation schedules, you will likely be stressed out. However, it is important to remember that the details of what is stressing you out doesn’t always need to be revealed to your kids. If you have financial concerns or other things that your kids have no control over, keep them to yourself rather than dumping the details onto your children.
Don’t Bad-Mouth Your Ex
When parents get into constant arguments in front of their kids, it can lead to the children blaming themselves for the marriage disputes. Because kids tend to blame themselves for their parents issues, you need to be friendly and kind whenever you are forced to be around your former spouse. If you start to get into a big argument over custody or visitation schedules, remove yourself from the presence of your children and discuss the dispute privately. Speaking badly about your ex in front of your kids can result in them acting out in other aspects of their life.
Let Your Children Have a Social Life
Because kids tend to speak to their close friends about their parents’ divorce and the emotions they are going through, you should let them include their friends as part of their support system. Invite your kid’s friends to family outings and other group activities. Spending more time with close friends can help your children get more comfortable with the transition phase of divorce.
Spend Time With Your Kids
When the situation allows you to, don’t use a babysitter or a daycare service to keep an eye on your kids. Instead, take the opportunity to spend extra time with them. When situations arise that require you to look for someone to supervise your kids, occasionally ask your ex to fill in for you. Letting your ex spend time with the children as well will show that both of you are still heavily involved in their lives.
Don’t Use Your Kids as Messengers
You should never tell your kids to relay information to your ex-spouse. Sending messages with your kids can create even more tension between the entire family. If you have important information that you need from your ex, let them know in person. Making your kids send messages back and forth will make them feel like they need to pick sides between parents.
Get Help With Your Divorce Today
The lawyers at Sullivan Law & Associates are dedicated to helping families in Irvine with their divorce cases. Our legal team can devise a strategy to help you secure a fair divorce settlement and we will use our extensive resources to ensure your rights and interests are fully protected. Divorce will change your life, but we are here to guide you through this difficult time.
Call (949) 565-2793 to speak to an experienced Irvine divorce lawyer.